I’ve recently realized my blog is basically a collection of things I could never say to you.
My blog isn’t just for you just so you know. But if you can skim the surface and dig deep, subliminal messages are there.
Also, there are a few that are directed to you quite explicitly.
Get stuck. Stay in one place your whole life. Always order vanilla even though the menu is four pages long. Become the type of person who sends back lattes. Save up your money for a plasma TV instead of a plane ticket. Talk a lot about things you know nothing about. Have an affair with someone you don’t even find attractive.
Refuse to forget your ex. Make it impossible for yourself to do anything without remembering that you used to do it with them. Hug your knees under the sheets and think about how safe you felt when they held you at night. Remind yourself daily of how empty you feel. Find new ways to make yourself sad.
Get drunk all the time. Consider no Saturday night, national holiday or extended happy hour complete without a vodka-induced breakdown. Graduate college but keep drinking like you’re still in it. Notice that cheap beer tastes watery and stale when you drink it alone but drink it anyway. Look at old Facebook photos wasted and wonder where everyone went.
Never drink. Never do anything that could potentially be “bad” for you. Treat your body like the temple it is and say no to carbs, yes to wheatgrass, go to bed at ten sharp and turn down cake on your birthday. Take fifteen different dietary supplements. Monitor carefully. Succumb to nothing. Miss out on everything.
Compare yourself constantly, to everyone. Allow the standards of image-obsessed, age-obsessed culture to make you feel decrepit at 25. Scroll through skinny girls on Tumblr feeling wistful and inadequate. Pull at the skin on your hipbones, stomach, and underarms in the mirror. Sigh a lot. Sigh all the time.
Don’t fall in love with anyone or anything. Put an impenetrable wall between yourself and other people. Add a fire-breathing dragon and eight yards of barbed wire. Be suspicious of everyone’s motives. Hold grudges long after you’ve forgotten what for.
Fall in love with everyone and everything. Run after the next best thing like it’s a bus you’re perpetually late for. Throw your heart into every other stranger’s hands and be genuinely surprised to be hurt. Refuse to learn. Refuse to ever learn.
We all have our issues.. Pick your poison.
(Source: milajaroniec)
Excerpt (via Psychology Today):
“Not to show vulnerability is typically viewed as a strength, a “demonstration” of character. But in reality the major motives in hiding our emotions are (as I’ve already indicated) fear-based. We’re just afraid to look weak or susceptible to others. Paradoxically, though, unashamedly disclosing our vulnerability can actually be a deliberate personal statement of both sensitivity and—yes—courage.”
The fear of losing yourself is said to be the root of our sinfulness.
I agree with this. Loving yourself is not easy. It’s not an automatic switch you turn on. It takes time and practice to love yourself.
At the same time, loving yourself is not just being happy with what you are now. It’s not stagnant. Love is a movement that allows you to improve yourself constantly.
(Source: thisishangingrockcomics, via flairey)
Obviously Option 2 is the one my extra fat chooses to do.
(Source: insomniaticthoughts)
The vicious cycle.
(Source: cosmicfriendsforever, via sloppyfirsts)
If given a choice, I'd spend my days swimming.
Hello. This mostly consists of reblogs and random quips here and there. Most of my written work are posted somewhere else.
Got a question? Go on and ask.
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